Why?
by underarrest39
Summary: Postep of Proud Flesh. couldn't resist! enjoy :


**Why? **

**Post-ep of Proud Flesh **

I still had my gun in my hand when everyone in the crowd was hovering around Chance Slaughter, the man I killed. Killed, it sounds so easy to say. My dad, an ex-cop told me stories about killing people who either were about to open fire on him or an innocent person to protect. I remember one night when he did kill someone to protect his partner from being crucified on the job.

**Eames Residence**

**Westchester, New York **

**1976 **

_Detective John Eames came home late again from work, this time he almost died. He made sure he protected his partner. His partner, Detective Wilson Montana got his gun kicked out of his hand, the perp was about to fire, but Eames came and shot the perp before he could kill his partner. _

_His wife, Kathryn Eames, gave him the same look of concern as he walked through the door from the dinner table, every night he got the same look. She always stayed up late reading, waiting for him, or waiting for his captain to inform the worst, dying in line of duty. _

_The house was quiet; his four children were all in bed. As John walked across the living room Kathryn noticed a blood stain on his shirt. _

"_What happened?" she asked, investigating the shirt. John waved her off exhausted and went straight to the kitchen. Kathryn followed closely behind, making John angry. _

"_Do you mind?" he asked, making his wife stop. _

"_You have four children and you don't spend any god damn time with them! Do you want me tell them why their dad's lying in a coffin six feet under," she snapped at him. _

_Before he could answer, he saw a shadow of one of his children. John pushed past his wife and saw the shadow running down the hallway. He caught up pretty quickly and saw it was his second youngest child, Alex. _

_Kathryn saw Alex with her father and shook her head, for some reason Alex always was up when her father came home. _

"_What are doing up sweetie?" she asked her daughter. Alex shrugged. _

"_C'mon I'll take you to bed," John offered, and picked up his daughter, flipping her over his shoulder. Alex smiled at her dad. "We'll talk in the morning," he told his wife, leaving her standing in the dimmed hallway, stunned. _

_John carried his daughter down to her room and placed her on her bed. Alex crawled under the covers. He smiled warmly at her, and helped her snuggle up in her bed. _

"_Did you kill a bad guy at work, daddy?" she asked him. John remembered her asking what he done at work when she was only three. She was always interested in his work; he thought she might be a cop herself one day. _

"_Yes, honey, I had to," he answered her, casually. He realized it was much easier talking about his work to his daughter than his wife. _

"_How come?" _

"_To protect the innocent," John Eames told Alex. "If you know that person who is innocent, you protect them and kill the person who is endangering others or yourself" _

"_Why?" _

"_Bad people do bad things, good people act innocent," he answered, kissing her cheek. Alex lied back in her bed as her father got up. _

"_Dad?" she asked, making him stop in mid-step. He turned to his daughter, who sat up with her hazel eyes staring into his. "Can I be like you someday?" _

"_Someday," he answered and blew her a kiss. "Goodnight," he said, closing the door. _

**Present **

Why did I do it? Because he almost shot Jonas Slaughters wife Anna, the innocent victim the one who was framed for the murder of Trip Slaughter. If I had a chance I probably would kill him too, but everyone saw me do it. Bobby saw me do it; he didn't say anything to me. Not a word to me, even after I put my gun away he still didn't say anything.

I helped Carver and Goren get Chance off the steps, when I touched him I couldn't believe I killed him. His cold skin reminded of his cold-blooded lies and webs of detestation for murdering his own brother. His father despised us even more than ever; luckily he was going away forever.

Bobby abandoned me by going after Jonas Slaughter to tell him something, but he must have said something hurtful by the look on his face.

After everyone left the steps I sat down and saw the blood of Chance. I looked away before I started up tears, tears of what? Hate, sympathy, dismay, or loneliness? I stopped at the thought of loneliness, Bobby wasn't here he was with Carver probably. I stared at the city, the people rushing back and forth. Everyone seemed to be going as normal as every other day in New York City.

I suddenly felt lost; I hadn't felt this lost since my husband died that was over five years ago now. I looked up and saw the sun was slowly going down, and then I felt a presence beside me. I turned to see Bobby. _Great timing,_ I thought, snickering to myself. I wanted to turn away from him to let him see how it felt but I couldn't bring myself to it.

"Are you all right?" Bobby asked me. He stared at me, after a minute I felt tension rinse between us.

"Not really," I answered, and stood up and walked towards my SUV. I heard Bobby following me to my car, as I reached the door I saw Bobby's hand on my hand on the car door, making me stop. I turned to face him, so suddenly that I think I frightened him a little. He took his hand away, he stared into my eyes, and I felt tears fill my eyes. He reached out my hand and I shook my head.

"No," I told him, firmly.

"Sorry," he answered, murmuring so softly I couldn't tell if he was talking to himself or me. "He deserved it," he suddenly said, turning away from me.

"I know he did," I paused; I could feel my throat tighten. _Don't cry here_, I begged myself. "Why do I feel so fucking bad?" I almost shouted at him, letting out a small sob without realizing. The people walking were slowly starting to stare. _Not this again_, I thought to myself, _ever since the trial Bobby found out about the letter, he's been different, I've been different. _

"Because you're human," Bobby answered me, turning back to me. He stepped in close, so close I could smell his cologne.

"This is only twice I ever killed someone on the job," I told him.

"You're not alone in this," he reached out and touched me.

"Then why did you leave me, to go to Slaughter?"

"Because I felt he deserved to know how I felt about his arrogance of selfishness. You know what he said to me? I told him so does it feel about son lying to us to save his skin, he replied 'that's what's sons are for,'" Bobby turned away from me.

"He reminded of my dad before he abandoned me that am exactly what he said to me after he got into trouble at by my school; the principal called and wondered why I hadn't been at school for a month. I told him the truth about home and that's when my dad lost it,"

Bobby turned back to me, only to reveal a scared child look on his face.

"He beat me several times, my brother wasn't there, he ran away before dad came home that afternoon, my mother was in bed sicker than ever," he took a deep breath and walked away.

"Then why did you leave me? Leave me to kill Chance on my own? Why did you?" I shot my questions so loudly and hastily I didn't register him standing in front of me.

"Because you're strong, you can keep us together. My problems are my problems but you-you make me tell you. You killed him because it was your job to protect the innocent and my job was to protect you-you from him, Slaughter," Bobby said lightly and then he walked away. I didn't have the energy to call out this time; I didn't know what to say to him. He was right.

We were to protect the innocent and take justice on the evil. Chance Slaughter was the evil, the offspring of evil to Jonas Slaughter and the one who would kill someone for sacrifice of his own son. Everyone has a reason to reveal to sides of themselves the innocence and the evil. Both are too much to read someone, even someone like me, the evil of killing is also protecting the innocent.

**Fin**

**A/N: thank you for reading. I loved Proud Flesh and decided to do a post-ep. In the flashback I wanted to explore Alex's childhood a little. Since I haven't really explored thoroughly, also I made her born '66, which is exactly the year KE was born, since Bobby is five or six years older than Alex in CI. I'm not to sure if I could pull off the flashback or the rest of it but anyway remember to review! **


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